Mood:  silly

Hola todos! I think that's "Hello everyone!" Daddy's been teaching me a little Spanish.

Last night, Daddy was trying to study and I was trying to get Daddy to reply to my questions. It was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything. I was sooo bored last night, so I decided to find out some of life's important answers. You know the ones. Like "Why do babies have belly buttons?" and "Do infant cobras kill each other?". I'm very curious about other babies. I'm not sure why. When I asked him, Daddy said that it was because I'm a baby too. Then he told me to hush up or he'd have to do something to me that I wouldn't like. I didn't like the look of his eyes when he said that. They kinda reminded me of storm clouds, ready to lash out with lightning.  He didn't even answer my questions. He just groaned and clenched his jaw.

Oh! I almost forgot! I finally got my credit card in the mail!!! I've been checking the mailbox for weeks now so that Daddy wouldn't see it. I'm so happy! I'm trying to decide what to buy first: Fruitloops or a chainsaw. My stomach's growling, so I'll probably get the cereal first. I'm kinda surprised Daddy hasn't noticed my excitement. He just nods and says, "Mmhmmm..." to me when I ask him something. I'm trying to get it so that every time I ask him something, he'll say it. Then I can ask for a Toyota Camry and I won't have to buy it myself. 

This is Bongo:

Over and out! 

Mood:  chatty

Hello everybody!

I'm finally back! Daddy got me last night.

This morning he woke me up and told me that he had some chores for me. He said it wasn't as much work as Belinda was giving me, but it was enough to keep me industrious. I have to dry dishes and help clear off the table after dinner. I don't mind too much, seeing that I don't get dirty doing it, like I did when I did Belinda's chores.

So finally, everything's back to normal. Daddy goes to school and I sneak on his laptop. He comes home and I pretend to wake up, like I've been sleeping this whole time.

One other thing. Daddy caught me admiring my new muscles in the mirror. He says that they're not new muscles. They're just beans.

Mood:  irritated

Hello everyone.

I'm at my cousin's house. Belinda is being very hard on me. Daddy didn't sound too sad when we were parting at the airport. In fact, he sounded rather happy and relieved!

Belinda is making me do chores everyday. She lives on a farm and she has several animals for me to take care of. She's making me feed the pack of vicious dogs,  clean the horse stall and wash the pigs! Can you believe it?! 

I called Daddy last night, but he didn't sound sympathetic. I begged him to come and get me, but he said that all this work was good for me.

And then just this morning, Belinda had me go with her on a trip to the neighbors. They have 5 children and when they saw me, "the little cutie", they squealed with delight. I tried to run, but Belinda's foot was on my tail. Whether she did it on purpose or not, I was nearly mauled to death by those filthy children! Belinda sat with the mother and had tea, while the children threw me to each other. I cried, I sobbed, I begged, I screamed, but it was all to no avail.  Belinda didn't seem to hear me. It was as if we weren't even there.

The mother, however, told them to go outside and play. I sighed in relief and waggled my tongue at the youngest. Belinda saw my gesture and asked the mother if the children would mind taking me along. I was horrified and shook my head, but the monsters dragged me outside in the rain. 

By the time Belinda came out, I was covered in mud. I glared at her, but she took no notice. "Come along, Bongo," she said. "You can't play all day. Thank Mrs. Harriot for her hospitality."

Through clenched teeth, I said, "Thanks." 

When we got home, Belinda told me to take a shower with the hose out back. She didn't want to have "to waste good stove space heating up a bath, when you're just going to get dirty again before tonight."

Cheerio,

Bongo K. Monkey 

Mood:  silly

Hello everyone!

Last Sunday, there was a potluck at Daddy's church. I snuck a ride in Daddy's car and then I went into the church's kitchen. The most wonderful smells arose! Here were meatballs and over there was some broth. I breathed in the delicious scents, then stopped. There was an alien smell among them. It smelled like there was something missing from the dish. 

I hurried over to the dish and looked into the crockpot. There were these things someone called "hot dogs". I couldn't believe these people ate dogs! I decided to change a few things. This was up to me. However, church was almost over. I had to hurry. I grabbed some spices. I smelled the first one: Garlic. I liked it, so I sprinkled some on the meat. Then I put some seasoned salt in too. I sniffed again and smiled. Today, everyone was going to taste "hot dogs" and love them!!! 

I climbed down off the table and hid under the stove. I watched as the women came in and got all of the food and placed it on the tables out in the dining area. I snickered, thinking of Daddy's face when he bit into a "hot dog". I wished I could see it. 

I decided I had to see it. Even if the chance of getting caught was very likely, I figured the look on Daddy's face would be priceless.

I scampered to beneath the fridge and felt the warm air blowing out from it. I counted to three and then ran across the floor to the closet next to the kitchen. I waited until the coast was clear and then I ran for Daddy's chair. Unfortunately, Daddy was all the way across the room. My chances of making it to my destination, unseen, were very slim. Sure enough, I nearly ran into a foot, as it appeared right in my path. A woman screeched above me, nearly shattering my eardrums. Suddenly, I realized something. This was the perfect chance to get back at Daddy for talking on the chat room after I was in bed. 

I climbed up a man's leg, as the woman beside him screamed and trembled in terror. I tried to smile my nicest smile and calm her down, but she seemed to think I was baring my fangs at her. I shrugged and hopped off onto a table. I grabbed a napkin and made a nun's habit out of it. I began singing "How do you solve a problem like Maria?". I looked for Daddy as I sang lustily. There he was, talking earnestly with a friend. He hadn't seen me yet. I quickly dropped the napkin and jumped off the table. I ran for Daddy's table. I was just in time. 

"Have you tried one of these hot dogs yet?" Daddy asked his friend. His friend replied that he hadn't.  I shook with laughter and quietly crept to a place in the dark where I could see Daddy's face. He took a bite of the "hot dog". Time slowed down. I could only hear my heartbeats. Daddy's face was funny to watch. First, it became a greenish color, then he turned really red. Lastly, he became very white and he grabbed his cup and gulped down water. Then he tried another bite. He seemed to like it, so he tried another. By the time he finished, he was wolfing down the "hot dogs" like they were candy. I watched him run over to the food table. I could see him frantically looking for more, but the last one had long since disappeared. I decided I was tired of laying low. Daddy's table was empty, so I climbed onto his chair.

I made some monkey footprints on the table with his BBQ sauce and smiled. I watched him come back and when he noticed my footprints, I knew it was time to leave.

I cleaned off my feet and climbed into his jacket pocket. I made it home without Daddy knowing for sure it was me.

Kids, don't try any of this without your parents' permission!

Bongo K. Monkey 

Mood:  mischievious

Hiya everybody!

I'm supposed to be in bed, but since Daddy's upstairs eating, I thought this would be the perfect time to post again! However, it will have to be short, since Daddy might come down soon.

 Today, Daddy was cleaning his room and he found his old kazoo. It was kinda dusty, but I washed it with my tongue real well, like they tell you to on the Discovery Health channel. I tried it out and found that I'm a natural! Well, that's what Congo said. But he plays the radio a lot, so he should know. 

Oh, and you know what I heard on the radio today? There was this commercial for credit cards and they told me to call a phone number. So when I called them, they said they would send me a credit card for free! I can't wait until it shows up! I'll buy a whole box of Fruit Loops and then--Uh oh! Daddy's coming!

See you soon!

Bongo 

Mood:  happy

Welcome!

This is my site where I can say whatever I want, without Daddy washing my mouth out with soap.

*whisperings and angry voices* 

Uh, nevermind about that.  It seems I have no privacy! Daddy says he'll be watching this blog, so I have to be careful. 

Speaking of no privacy, Daddy took me to the doctor the other day. You know those gowns? Those things are huge! Anyway, this doctor was poking me all over! Then he shined this ginormous light in my poor eyes. Daddy said later he was just making sure they were ok, but he could've blinded me for life!

Then, he took an X-ray of my head! I've had a buzzing in my head ever since! Long story short, I have a brain tumor! Daddy sighed when the doctor told him and said he wasn't surprised. I will have to have surgery sometime this year. The doctor isn't sure when he can fit me in. He says he has more important patients then little monkeys with beans for brains.

Talk you all later!

Bongo K. Monkey